you can't unbreak a mirror
by CurrentlyEatingPizza
Summary: Shattered glass. Bloody cuts. Broken reflections, broken reflections of all that could have been. But wasn't. Because he finally broke.
**A/N: HAIIIII GUESS WHOS BACK AFTER WAAAAY TOO LONG. HEH. ME. so I got into anime. Pleasepleaseplease tell me your feedback or if you like it or something cuz that means the world to me. **the song is _Stay_ by Mayday Parade. All creds go to them for having such a freakin fanfiction-y song!**

Screaming. Fighting. Because he finally broke.

"I'M SO _SICK_ OF YOU!" Red faces. White-hot anger. A pot of water about to boil over. That's what he had been. A pot of water causing burns. That's what he was now. Because he finally broke.

Shattered glass. Bloody cuts. Broken reflections, broken reflections of all that could have been. But wasn't. Because he finally broke.

 _If you believe that everything's all right, you won't be all alone tonight._

Oikawa had been out. He could see it, see it in the way Oikawa's steps were just a little too light, how his face was a little too pink, how his shirt couldn't hide the love marks that someone else had planted on him. However, his eyes, oh his eyes, they were as broken as the mirror Iwaizumi had struck.

 _I need some time; just deliver the things that I need for now._

Oikawa disappeared into his room, footsteps a little too unsteady. Iwaizumi heard a zipper, the empty thump as a pile of objects fell into the suitcase, the zip again, and the skid as the suitcase was heaved upward by the shaking hands.

A familiar head of hair, once so perfect, now looking like a bird's nest from hell, appeared through the doorway.

Iwaizumi held his breath. _Say something._ _Anything_. Nothing came out, nothing from either of them.

 _Please understand if I see you again, don't even say hello._

"I'm going to a hotel."

They stared at each other.

"I'll be back in the morning for the rest of my stuff. Iwaizumi, I- I can't."

 _Iwaizumi. Not Iwa-chan._

His mouth opened and closed several times before his voice returned to him. "I can help you take you your things tomorrow. Do…you need money? I have money, okay, Tooru?"

"No." The door slammed.

 _Oh, can you tell, I haven't slept very well since the last time that we spoke._

"You need to get out," Sugawara told him.

"Don't."

" _Hajime_." Suga never called him that.

"No."

"Iwaizumi Hajime, I swear I'll go knock down Oikawa's door and get him to-"

"FINE."

Suga smiled warmly, a hint of the devil no one thought he was appearing within the bright teeth and chocolate eyes. "Daichi and I are going to get some drinks. _You're coming._ "

"Um."

"It's not for nothing that I'm called Mr. Refresh-" Suga froze, suddenly remembering the source of the nickname.

Hajime couldn't pretend the slip up didn't prick somewhere in his chest, but on the outside he saved face. "Fuck Oikawa."

Suga still looked a bit uncomfortable. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

 _Please understand I've been drinking again, and all I do is hope._

"When's the last time you even had a drink?" Daichi sputtered, watching Hajime deal with the tequila burning a path down his throat.

"I don't have _time_ for drinks. Oikawa is a full time job."

Iwaizumi didn't see the look that passed between Suga and Daichi. It had been an hour, and suffice it to say he'd had several drinks prior to his regrettable tequila experience.

"Heeeeyyyyy," a feminine voice appeared by his shoulder. A girl stepped out next to him. "You look bored. Wanna dance?"

"I- I…" He heard Suga snicker quietly.

"Akiyama Miyuki. You?"

"Iwa-Iwaizumi Hajime," Hajime managed to stutter out.

Suga was practically howling.

"Let's go!"

Miyuki was a good dancer. She did all the work. Hajime just kept his hands around her and let her lead him around the dance floor.

She got him some drinks. Some drinks. More drinks. Always more drinks.

Haze. Nothin' but haze.

They danced some more. Swaying. Hajime couldn't tell if it was the twirling steps of their partnership or his mind playing tricks. Because everything was swaying.

Swaying. Like Oikawa's arms when he danced like no one was watching. Swaying. Like the willowy trees that grew at end of their street. Swaying. Like all the best memories.

The drink. Cold. Like Oikawa's eyes on that day. Shattered, but cold. After all, broken ice is still ice.

Oikawa. What was Oikawa? Oikawa was excitement, the kind of excitement that made Hajime want to get excited with him. He was vulnerability, the best kind of vulnerability, that reminded Hajime what it meant to _really care_.

And oh god, Hajime really cared.

Darkness. Miyuki's car. His phone, which he pulled out to give the hotel he knew Oikawa was staying at. The sky as they drove along the road. Darkness, like he hoped Oikawa's heart wasn't.

The knock sounded far too loud. The silence, far too long. The creak of the door, far too ominous.

"What are you doing here?"

Red. Rimming Oikawa's eyes. The color of the hoodie that those long pale fingers gripped. The familiar red hoodie that belonged to Hajime.

"You are _such_ an idiot."

Clear. Crystal clear. The fresh tears that dripped down Oikawa's face. The understanding that Hajime knew lay in his own eyes, because he finally felt it deep in his chest.

Pain. The pain that clawed itself onto Hajime's heart at the terrible sight Oikawa was in.

"I can't believe…you're totally still my mom."

Love. That's what all of this was.

"I can't unbreak that mirror. But I sure as hell will try."

 _Please…stay._

 **A/N: did you like it? :) tell me if you did; it makes my day.**


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